Sorrows

Yesterday was a day I will probably never forget as long as I live. :(
Stuff started piling up. First thing is what I'm having a problem with. Something really horrible happened and I immediately felt responseable. I've been trying to sort stuff out and figure out if I even want to tell anyone else. Mostly becuase I dont want to feel like im starting a pity party for myself. So I dont know what to do. Of course I would like to tell someone, just to get it out, so it would help me get over it maybe, but then it feels almost wrong. The whole reasosn this happened in the first place is becuase I let something happen, just THAT is a whole mess in itself. I want to do something, someone else tells me its gotta be another way but even then theres reasons I agree with the other person but then it has to be the other way because it might cause a problem. :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:( On top of all this, the afternoon brought problems with my business. (that got figured out just a minute ago thankfully)
Part of me says it was my fault the other says its not. So many things have happened related to this but I saw no way to fix it other than what I'm doing about it now, I tried that earlier on, but someone talked me out of it. Of course then it wasnt this serious.
Hopefully I can figure this out and finally find it to tell someone, becuase I really want to but like I said, I dont feel good about that.
:.(